Monday, March 23, 2009

Hugs & Kisses

We love that Gracie knows how to give hugs and kisses.   When we ask her to give us a kiss she leans her head down for us to kiss her forehead and every once in awhile she'll lean in to give us a little peck (sometimes open mouth) kiss.  Here she is loving on her baby.  

We went to a first birthday party for one of her friends over the weekend and I was so embarrassed because Gracie was a little bully and wasn't playing nicely with the other children.   While she was playing with a toy, one of her friends would come over to play with it too or would try to take something - she would then grab a fist full of their clothes and try to pull them down, or push them away, or pitch a fit if she wasn't getting her way.  

Oh no, no ma'am!!!  Is what I kept saying over and over and over again.  I'd then help the child she was being mean too and would tell Gracie she needed to play nice with her friends and I'd redirect her play.   

Do you have a similar story or experiences and any recommendations on how I can change this bad behavior?  I hope that Gracie will keep the friends she has and make new friends but I'm worried that if she keeps acting like this that we won't be invited to play with everyone.  I do not want to have a bratty child.  Please help.


Anonymous said...

Be consistent in telling her that her behavior is inappropriate and put her in timeout. Just because you are not home the discipline should continue as it would at home.

Two great resources: Shepherding a Child's Heart and Don't Make Me Count to Three (available at Amazon).

And remember you are not the only mom that faces this challenge. We have all had children that bully. This too shall pass with love, patience, teaching, and correction

Anonymous said...

Oh Kelly! You have to stop being so hard on yourself. Éric is absolutely the same way, probably worse... but kids will be kids and they'll eventually learn :)

It was great seeing you guys!


Mom said...

Learning to share is part of the developmental process that all children experience. Please don't be embarrassed and so hard on yourself. You are an awesome mom and Gracie will learn how to share.
As some of your friends have already said, be consistent with how you discipline and continue to to be patient and guide her as she experiences new situations. She will learn what is acceptable and what is not. Gracie has two very loving parents that will always be her best role models!
We love and miss you all very much!
Lots of love,

Hannah and Mommy said...

You are always welcome at our house!

Jennifer said...

Anderson would play with Gracie anytime! You will teach her and she will get it :)

Elizabeth said...

I have dealt with this quite a bit, more with James than Maddox. It's tough and embarrassing, I know. But like someone said every parent goes through it (at least most do) so we all understand. Honestly, I wish there was a quick fix, but we're still working on it. I think consistency is key no matter what situation you are in. And Gracie is at a tough age where she doesn't totally understand why she has to share - so as she gets older she will and it will get better!

carrie said...

Hey Kelly!

You are a great mother...and it IS embarrassing when you are in public and your child acts up. I TOTALLY understand. I had to remove Micah many times. I would say "if you do this, "this" will happen", etc. And if I didn't do what I said I was going to do, he "won". It was a battle. It IS a battle. But I am starting to see the benefits of the prior years of doing what I said I was going to do....actions having consequences, etc.

I have left the park before only moments after getting there, the store mid grocery shopping. "No Micah, you may not scream in the store." "Micah you may not treat your friends that way" "Micah stop hitting mommy"

Are you laughing yet????

At her age, it's totally normal. She understands everything you say, so while she may not do what you ask at first, the consistency in what you are saying and doing will make a difference. Shepherding a Child's Heart is GREAT...also the Five Love Languages of Children.


Jeff, Katie and Gabby said...

Oh gosh...she sounds just like Gabby! You are on the right track by recognizing the friend and making sure she sees you helping them when she bullies. She may get upset that you are showing the friend attention, but will realize eventually that if she doesn't do this anymore she can have mommy all to herself. I think we all struggle as mommies with this one to be honest! Jeff will also tell you that it is good for girls to be bullies sometimes. According to him, it is good for them to show independence and aggression sometimes. He thinks this will help them in the future! Who knows...

Hope this helps!