Friday, March 27, 2009

What should I do?

You all were so helpful with your kind words, suggestions, and words of encouragement when I asked for help with Gracie's bratty behavior with her friends last weekend.  

I need your thoughts yet again...

I'm contemplating going back to work on a casual basis - meaning I would sign up to work the schedule I choose.   Here's the burning question - Should I continue to be Gracie's Mommy and homemaker FULL TIME...or...can I do both and work in the Neonatal ICU (Saturday nightshift each week)?  I need your opinion!!!  

I love staying at home with Gracie!  We are so fortunate that we can afford for me to stay at home and Todd is so supportive of me doing so.  

I love that Gracie wakes me up in the morning, not an alarm clock.  I love that we snuggle on the couch.  I love feeding her and laugh every time she makes her "O" face.  I love that I don't have to get out of my PJs.  I love that we read books at least 20 times during the day.  I enjoy having the Today Show, Ellen, The View, and Oprah on and catch bits and pieces of the segments.  I have time to blog and read my friends' and stranger's blogs.  I love that Gracie is my shopping buddy.  I love watching her walk around, talk, explore, and learn new things.  I love playing with her.  I love bath time.  I love watching how happy and excited she is when Daddy comes home.  I love putting her to bed.  

I miss being a nurse.  I miss taking care of sick babies; I miss helping their families by offering emotional support and education; I miss using the knowledge I spent hundreds of hours learning in school and the experience I gained while working; I miss being with other nurses; and I even miss wearing my scrubs!  I am incredibly proud to be a nurse and honored that I have been able to help patients and their families.  I really have a passion for helping others.  

So what should I do...should I go back?

The reasons TO go back to work:
I miss it!  It is a part of who I am.  Me time.  I can use the knowledge I worked so hard to obtain.  I can keep up with my skills.  I can help others.  A little extra money never hurts.  I can meet more people.  Todd and Gracie can have more one on one time.  

The reasons NOT to go back:
Every day with Gracie is special and precious - she is only little for a few years!  It is WORK.  I'm willing to bet lots of people would trade places with me in an instant to stay at home and not work.  The process for getting my Canadian License is long and I have to take the Canadian Nursing Board Exam (300 multiple choice questions - yuck, I've been out of school for 7 years and my experience is very specialized).  I would need to find someone to watch Gracie through orientation.  It's time away from my family. Less flexibility for traveling.  Taking care of sick, little babies.  The possibility of being short staffed.  The potential for making a mistake or medication errors.   We're only in Canada for another 18 months or so.  (oh yah - and we might be thinking about trying for baby #2 in the fall).  

There's plenty more reasons both for and against it...and obviously I've listed more reasons against going back than I have for...and I think I know what I'm going to do but I'm curious what y'all think.

So with all that said - what do you think I should do?  


Anonymous said...

Enjoy the summer with Gracie and Todd. Work on your recerification this summer and if you still have the itch, start this fall. Life is short and Gracie will grow up too fast. Enjoy her now, there is no greater joy than you kids. This summer will be special and you don't want to miss out on anything.

Katie said...

I agree with "anonymous", if I didn't already make that clear. :)

Tania said...

Hi Kelly!

It was great seeing you again today :) I just wanted to say that I think you should trust your instincts. And I know our babies grow up so fast, but also know that if this is something you really want to do, you will only be a better mother to Gracie in the end.

You'll know what to do!

Alyson said...

Ok, I read this post days ago and have been trying to think of something helpful to say, and I am at a loss. I know that is one of the hardest decisions to make and only you know what is best for your family. I feel I am a better mother when I have had that "me" time, but "me" time can come in many forms. Good luck with your decision and I know you'll make the right one. Sorry I don't have anything more profound than that!